tiger, tiger coffee bar

The People that Grinned Themselves to Death

by Braydon Harriss

There is a story that goes something like this: a stretch of Nepean Highway in Rosebud, where the Fair stands in the Summer months, was illuminated one night by a laughing clown sideshow; as cars passed the darkened Fair the lights of the Laughing Clowns could be seen spilling out onto the worn cooch grass, spilling light into the dark of the other sideshows and rides; the revolving heads and their painted po-faces moving in silent motion, the movement unhinged from the usual music accompaniment. The silence exacerbated the Clown's eerie misplacement - or so the story goes - amongst the moored Pirate Ship and tarped-over Lucky Wheel. The Clowns stayed that way until after dawn. Perhaps forty cars passed in that time, each of them slowing and noting the sad unusual sight. Some were unsettled for, if their timing was right, their travel was followed by the blank gaze of the Clowns and their painted smiles, confusing in the dark like grimaces.

Melbourne is considered the culinary epicenter of the Southern Hemisphere, but where to start whence you land? Such are the riches of Melbourne's myriad of bars, cafes and restaurants; it's easy to get overwhelmed by the vast array of choice! Here tiger, tiger points you in the right dining direction...